Anyone have an issue with jealousy? How do you deal with it?

When you believe that you have the competent skills as a developer and a decent personality, but you see mean and incompetent people making more money than you , how do you deal with overcoming that feeling of jealously that you have towards them? I’ve had this feeling a few times and I try to deal with it by just becoming more competent at what I do . I am not jealous of those individuals who are successful and got where they are through their own talent and drive, just jealous of incompetent people with terrible personalities.


i get jealous and it makes me want to try harder. either that or embarrass myself


I’m not sure what you are looking for from this post. You should focus on learning how to code well. Companies will hire people for various reasons and all you can do is learn how to code well, especially as part of a software development team.


Honestly, I don’t really see that anywhere I’ve worked as a developer. It’s not really an industry where you “fail up”. Sometimes I see developers who have become complacent (although they don’t tend to last long after that) or may not be staying on top of all of the most relevant skills. More often I encounter senior developers who are highly skilled in some areas, but are being put in “my lane” or developers who have different priorities and opinions about development than I do. Typically when I have seen people rant about the competency of other developers, the ones doing the ranting have extremely limited experience and the quality of their own work doesn’t justify their egos.

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I wasn’t necessarily talking about competency as a developer, just competecy or lack their of in general. Seeing people with poor and mean personalities succeed , but you as a competent individual who aspires to be software developer isn’t suceeding in getting a software developer job position

Companies who need people to write code as part of a software development team hire people who can write code as part of a software development team. Aspiring to be able to write code as part of a software development team is great, but you need to demonstrate your skills to get hired.

Even to get hired and paid as an intern you need to demonstrate some baseline level of skill at software development.

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I recognize that yes, there are factors other than skills/personality that get people moving ahead. I do try to hazard a guess as to what the “other” is (hey, if admin #13 seems to only hire a certain personality type, then … I’m not going to try to go there if it’s not me, and I probably want to avoid that department if it’s actually toxic)… and look at the big picture and try to figure out how to make things work better for everybody.


Does it matter? Yes, having more money may make life easier in terms of stability, but trust me money is not the answer to happiness or success. It really isn’t. But, since you have asked how to deal with it, I am happy to share you some suggestions that I hope will give you some ideas and positive experiences. :slight_smile:

Earlier this year, things weren’t going well in my web development learning process. Although I have no intention to give up, I was struggling as I was trying to find new approaches and structure of learning.

One day, I got in touch with a family friend who is a freelancing graphic designer, and he has given me so many great advice on boosting my work projects and portfolio. But, it was one he said that will always stay with me, which was “when you are creating something, create something that will make a difference to people, even if it is just one person or even if it is a just a small difference.”

A couple of months later, I have joined fCC and did my tribute page project and thought I add my design skills into it. I posted here on the forum for feedback, and I have received so many helpful and positive comments. But, I also had members asking for advice on design, too.

I have been on many web learning platforms that teach you to code, but the resource to learn basic design is either minimal or non-existent. That is where I thought if I could help and explain the basic design principles to the fellow fCC members, this could make a difference for fCC members. I was initially planning to do a blog and share the articles through here (if acceptable). Instead, things have happened differently.

As I was doing my part to contribute and commit to fCC, I was given opportunities to gain so many new experiences, that I thought it would not ever happen to me. Nope, I am not making money, and neither have I finish my fCC curriculum, but doing my small part to help others is definitely making me feel I am in the right direction to acheive what I want to do.

So, my point (to your question on dealing with the issue) is instead channelling that jealousy toward people who are not nice. Yet they are “succeeding”, how about keeping yourself occupied by contributing or just helping out others in need? It could be anything, helping out a small charity/independent businesses on creating a simple web site/mobile app, contributing to a project via Github etc. In the long run, it can be very rewarding. :slight_smile:

In the meantime, try and make 2020 a positive year and of course, happy coding! :v:


Yeah, I totally agree with the part about helping others with the coding skills you have now. I think that would make me feel good as well as learning new skills myself that will channel me away from thoughts of jealously


“I returned, and saw under the sun, that the race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, neither yet bread to the wise, nor yet riches to men of understanding, nor yet favour to men of skill; but time and chance happeneth to them all.” – Ecclesiastes 9:11 KJV

That was written a while ago. Not a new complaint. :wink:


I feel your pain, from the IT perspective. Seems like either the most cowardly, passive aggressive people I work with get ahead, or the most 2 faced. I wouldn’t characterize what I feel as jealousy, maybe envy? They are different.

Anyway I feel my journey towards a viable long term IT support gig is coming to an end while this idea to self-teach development skills is well, creeping along.

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… and sometimes what looks like success isn’t going to last… sometimes that karma bus comes 'round (and you might not see it) … and sometimes it comes 'round in a good way for you. That’s happened to me more than once…

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I just ignore those people and continue to do my own work. Because I can’t do anything about that. What luxuries they have is because of their luck or past karma or whatever else. I just tell myself to focus on my own life.


How do you deal? Well, make it a driving force, challenge yourself to become better than they are. Become the kind of person you wish they were. The world is not fair sometimes, most times actually. You cannot change them but you can be one more better person in the world and the world desperately needs that.

If you can’t beat them at the job, beat them at the personality contest :slight_smile:

I’ll weigh in here.

I’m actually competitive in my career. Strange considering I’m not competitive in any other area of my life. So I’ll share things from that perspective.

For me, I prefer to play a long game. I will have many jobs in my career, some will be duds and some won’t. I try to focus on what I’m really after. Then, I can conduct myself throughout my many jobs in a way that keeps me from emulating other people’s behavior because it looks good.

Turns out that this strategy works out for me. Focusing on long-term results is noticed, desired, and ultimately rewarded. So I’d encourage you to think through the same about what you want long term in your career and what it means for you to be a professional. Then when you see this stuff, that is a signal to stay focused on that longer-term you.