Family & Web Development

Hello Everyone!

I usually just like to lurk here sometimes and see what other people are saying. I see that a lot of people here are very encouraging and I need some of that right now.

I am gonna start with a little background story…

I always liked computers. I remember my mom bought me a windows 95 computer in Peru, and I would play a lot of StarCraft, and Warcraft 3. I would play it for hours on end. I would love it at every time, but then one day I guess my computer did an oppsie and it a command prompt popped up and then left rather quickly. I was suprised to say the least. Fast forward to 2012. I migrated from Peru to the US for a better life. I would play a lot of Yu-Gi-Oh! at college with some friends, I would skip classes and I was psychology major. I didn’t really resonate with any of the degrees there, and one day I learned about codeacademy.

I used codeacademy for a bit and I went through the HTML/CSS portion. I was like “This is pretty easy.” and I finished the portion. When JavaScript was introduced to me I was blown away from it. I thought it was easy until I got stuck at the If-Else statements. I was like “This is too hard for me lol.” But I decided to change my major to Computer Science, since I feel like this is the only path for me to take because i needed guidance. I took some classes but the teacher was mean. I felt like he wanted to weed out anyone who was weak. He wasn’t welcoming to beginners, just a bad experience all together.

In 2015 I dropped out of school for a bit. Got into a toxic relationship and worked a terrible job. I eventually went back to school, broke up with my ex at the time and found a small associates degree program at another community college that taught web development.

In 2017 my grandfather got diagnosed with terminal cancer and while i was going to school, it was tough to balance things out in my life and school. I eventually dropped out again to help my mom and my grandmother take to radiation and chemotherapy.

In 2018 my grandfather sadly passed away. I was devastated, it really hit since he was the only father figure in my life. I was planning to go back to school, but the owners of the house that we were renting wanted the house back. We were paying 1500 dollars a month, and we could have sustained that, but because the owners wanted the house back.

My mom needed help with the bills so I couldn’t go back to school, but I discovered this youtuber named Dylan Israel and his story of being a self taught web developer, and how he got a job in the field. I didn’t want to just work and do nothing so I decided to be a self taught developer, and It was a tough road ever since.

In 2019 my motivation was up and down. I was lost. I took on a project that required react and i barely knew JavaScript at the time. I dropped out of the project and it would be a lot of trial and error of the learning and in 2020 the pandemic hit. I was still at it learning at my pace, but my family would be inpatient with me. I would try my best, but the balancing with my home life and efforts trying to get in this field was daunting.

My family was letting me know that I have other qualities and that I should explore them, but I didn’t listen because I knew that coding for me was it for me. I didn’t see doing anything else.

Fast forward to yesterday and my mom told me again that I should just focus on other things and come back to coding when I have my life together. Honestly this time she made me really think. I feel like i got committed to this field, and I am not seeing any progress. I know HTML, CSS, JavaScript and React. I know GIT as well. I have a portfolio and my resume.

I started to apply in June and honestly I barely get any interviews and I barely pass the first round. I am exhausted. I told myself i’m gonna give myself one more year and if nothing happens i’ll move on and try something else, but I don’t want to give up. I know that I can do it. Sometimes i’m not motivated, but I always get back up and do my best.

But I’m broke all the time, I can barely afford things. I want to buy a condo for myself and a dog and work from home and relax that’s the life I want. I also want to provide for my mom and my brothers as well. I want to show them that with dedication you can do anything you set your mind to. But when your own family discourages you, it’s disheartening. It sucks. It makes me feel sad.

Honestly I don’t know what to do anymore. I was hoping for some guidance from you guys, maybe something similar has happened to you?

To the people who read everything: Thank you for reading, I will buy you a shot if we ever at a bar (If you drink of course ahahaha)

TLDR:

My family is discouraging me from coding because I haven’t done any progress. I still feel like I got what it takes but the words from my family makes me wanna give up. I do it for them as well so for them to tell me to stop and focus on something else makes me feel really sad and disappointing in myself for not doing it sooner.

Mods:
If this type of post isn’t allowed. Please delete. I am not too familiar with the rules of this forum and I will read the rules for another post next time.

Thank you all!

Claudio Bardales

2 Likes

HI @ClaudioBardales !

Welcome back to the forum!

Thank you for sharing your story.
I think it will help a lot of people on their learning journey.

I just think that you need a good game plan to help you get where you need to go.

Well the first thing I would suggest is sharing your resume and portfolio with the forum here.
There are plenty of people on here that can take a look at give you tips on how to improve it so you get more interviews.

The second thing you need to address is why you are barely passing the first round and ways to fix that.

Are you struggling with the algorithm questions?
Are you struggling with take home projects?
Are you struggling with answering entry level javascript technical questions?

Once you hone in on where you are struggling during the interview, then you can work on that.
Luckily there are tons of resources to help with coding challenges and technical interviews. :grinning:

As for your family, I think that once you start landing more interviews and moving further in the interview process then they will probably start to see a new career in web development as a possibility.

Once you land a job, then hopefully they will come around and start being more supportive :grinning:

Hope that helps!

2 Likes

Much more with algorithms really. I struggle a lot with not be able to solve them, and I get frustrated. I know in technical interviews they expect you to work through the process and really explain your reasoning behind them. I have a lot of impostor syndrome so every time that I don’t get it right or can’t even get started. I get really discouraged. With projects I know that If I don’t know how to do something, i search on google on how to do it and get it done that way.

Hopefully. I know they want the best for me, but I know that at the same time I don’t see myself doing anything else. Tech is where I want to be, but I need to overcome a lot of obstacles. Thank you for responding!

I believe the critical “missing peice” is determining what sort of short term goals you have.

It sounds like you understand the challenges you have faced preventing you from getting to your overall goal. You understand what you would like to do. You understand roughly the direction of what you want to do as well.

However, I don’t see any concrete goals/steps between “learn X Y Z” and “apply and get job”.

There are multiple ways to break down those steps that are just as important as the overall goals. There are also multiple avenues you should keep and have open to explore and expand upon as you get feedback while updating your set goals.

For example, a short term goal is getting more feedback on your application process, portfolio and resume. This in turn should help get you closer to getting a job in the field.

Its one thing to get impostor syndrome, and get discouraged as interviews do suck, but you must take each interview a lesson in itself. If your struggling with technical interviews, work on them. Work on algorithms, and take any failure as a lesson to learn so you don’t make the same mistake again.
There is a difference between feeling inadequate for your current achievements, and not achieving your goals.

What are the obstacles you have identified in your way of achieving your long term goals?
What steps have you taken to mitigate those obstacles. Some obstacles are easy to deal with than others. There is almost always some elements you can control.

Your family just wants the best for you. If you feel like you got what it takes, but that feeling might not always produce results. Your only choice is usually to determine what your current goals are and what solid steps you can do to accomplish them. It could be as simple as re-writing your resume and getting feedback so its more solid, or creating a more advance project to fluff our your resume, to learning a whole new skill.

As @jwilkins.oboe mentioned above sharing your portfolio and resume will give you at least a starting point of reference on where you stand. Its possible people wont think your “ready”, or you will get large amounts of feedback on areas of improvement. I would not shy away from such feedback in this form or any other. Yes it can suck, but knowing your weaknesses is the quickest way to fixing them, and thus the quickest way to see some kind of improvement.

Good luck, keep learning, keep growing :+1:

2 Likes

Well, my plan was to do 2 more projects and then focus on Data Structures and Algorithms Course to truly understand it and tackle these interview problems.

Yes,

I am going to post my resume and portfolio to get feedback. I need to know if im even ready to apply or not. I hope I am.

Finding a balance of finding time to code and my life outside of coding.

How to overcome my imposter syndrome.

Pretty much these two right here that I know of the top of my head.

Thank you for responding and sorry for replaying late!

Hi there Claudio! I was there just a few months ago, if you already have experience with wed dev tools that you have mentioned, plus at least one bigger project and a good CV you should be good to go. I believe you are very close, please don’t give up and just stay on track.

In terms of learning algorithms there are a few great places to practice including practicing real-time interview. This year I had a huge argue with my family they just thought I lost my mind, at the same time after almost 3 years of learning, having dozens of projects etc I was failing job interview, struggling with getting any response etc.

You Never Know How Close You Are, So Don’t Give Up! :slight_smile:

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Thank you so much for the encouraging words!

It feels different because I feel like I have been at the journey for a long time, but I know there are a lot of people who are in the same situation as mine.

Thank you for taking your time into writing in this post.

That’s good, now what are the timelines and expectations in completing these goals? And how will they fit in your long term one? Your goals should have deadlines set for them so you can get an idea of your “falling behind” or incorrectly estimating how much effort and time it will take.

These are challenges, but even if you don’t solve your work-life-balance, or have imposture syndrome you can get a job.

If your goals are getting a job in tech, the obstacles you have identified and are focusing on should be as directly relevant to this task as possible. Work-life-balance is usually always important regardless of your job situation. Impostor syndrome can also affect you at any time, it also can affect you more, the more successful you get!

It’s possible you identified these 2 are your “primary” factors of not achieving your short/long-term goals. However, Impostor syndrome, by definition, is usually defined by not accepting the success, or skills you have gained or achieved. This could apply to getting a job, as you could feel like you’re ready, but not seeing results. You could also focus on whatever deeper issues are preventing you from advancing further.

Work-life-balance usually pertains to working to much, and not enjoying your off time. I’m not sure if this applies to your situation at all. It could be your studying too much and aren’t able to “see the fruits of your labor” by being able to take time off and enjoy it. However since your still applying for jobs, you could also use your “job applying time” more effectively.

If you focus primarily on these two, you wont be focusing on issues that you can take action on that get you closer to getting a job. For example, if you identified you aren’t terribly good at getting interviews, then focusing on how you’re applying + writing resumes and getting interviews is where you’d focus on next. This is just an example for what I mean by re-evaluate how you’re approaching the overall issue.

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I am trying to finish by the end of January, and February do the course. I am still applying on weekends just so in case I get an interview that don’t require a technical interview.

I do feel like I am scared of success. I don’t know if my skills are enough. I feel like I will never be ready just because of my self-doubt. I don’t come from a traditional background. It’s a lot of feelings that I have to overcome in order to get to the other side. I have a lot of issues myself of motivation and discipline I also need to take care of. At times I also felt burned out because of me not seeing results at all. Also procrastination is terrible for me

I totally relate to this.
I don’t come from a tech background.
I don’t come from any type of STEM background.

Before I got into programming, I spent my whole life in music and only focused on that.

There are a lot of people who feel like you do.
The key is to try to take it one day at a time and focus on small wins throughout the week.
Those small wins will start to compound over time and you will start to believe that you can actually do this :grinning:

2 Likes

Thank you for the encouraging words. Its really tough when you come from no type of learning how to learn when you coasted through high school and dropped out of college twice aha. This industry seemed so out of reach. It still does now, but to hear that i’m not alone feels a better for sure. I am going to post my resume and my portfolio tonight on a different thread. I hope the community can help me somewhat so I have a sense of direction on where to go next. I also hope when I make it, I can give back to people after me so It won’t be as hard as them like it was for me. Thank you!

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