Yes and also if possible become really valuable to the company like help create a really good tool that only you understand because that = security. But some jobs may even become flexible once you’ve been there for a year. For example my current job gave me a key so I can come to work later or take really long lunches then leave later on. It’s cool too since nobody is here so I can just bump music and work.
No problem, just throwing it out there. Nobody else has suggested it.
You know there was a time when my church had to pay our overdue utility bills because it was about to get cutoff, our friends buying groceries and bringing food to us… and I see my small kids jumping up and down so excited because there’s a pack of hotdogs in the fridge… given to us. The toy in a McDonald’s happy meal was my Christmas gift to my baby daughter because that’s all we can afford. Me and SO shared the happy meal.
Me either, but I was desperate, 2 kids and a new baby, my SO (we’re not married yet) just given birth, she’s got no job, and my income wasn’t enough… I had to learn how to make websites using (ahem! “borrowed”) FrontPage97. I didn’t even know how to manually code HTML at that time… just doing WYSIWYG stuff.
Long story, short. A year later we’re buying our 1st house, moved out of the small apartment, I quit my job, and bought a new Suburban SUV… in that order, LOL. That following Christmas, my gift to them was that house + new toys for my kids. All thanks to web hosting and making websites. (and oh yeah, I upgraded and bought my own copy of FrontPage 2000) 
Anyways, keep going, work hard… there’s light at the end of the tunnel.
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That’s one of the things I’ve been working on with my counselor, and basically, I do have clinical depression, and my symptoms get much worse at school. The reasons are varied and debatable, but we’ve been able to find that the stress and horrible schedules are mostly the cause. Because all CS courses are only available at one time each semester, you have no say in scheduling, and everything sort of falls apart around them. One morning you need to be there at 8:00, the next at 10:00, and then some days you have to stay till 6:30, and I have to throw work in there so I can pay bills, it kills me. The other students have no aspirations of working in tech as it exists today, with most either just getting the degree because their parents told them too, or because they want to be in academia, which I do NOT want to do. All my friends have been in other disciplines because of this, but half of them either failed, dropped out because they lost scholarships, or transferred to be closer to their parents so they’d pay for school. Basically, I still have a lot to work through with my counselor, but there is no denying the correlation, and It’s happened for the last 4 semesters, so I’m going to say it probably is causation too.
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The scheduling stuff was hard for me too, at both colleges I attended. Being able to create steady routines works great for me and my mental health, and it’s a real shame that colleges don’t often allow students to make such routines. Sometimes students can, but it really depends on their major. I feel for you!
In grad school all my courses were from 6:30 PM - 9:30 PM and it was really hard sometimes, especially after working all day. I don’t think colleges do enough to allow students to create healthy schedules. I get the sense that faculty and administrators think that because most college students are young they can handle chaotic schedules and working all different hours.
Sorry for the tangent, here 
. I work in higher ed and think about the problems with the U.S.'s higher ed system a lot. I never thought about the strain of crazy course and work schedules on students before, but I bet this is an issue for a lot of students.
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I can respect that. And I am of course not qualified to counsel you on clinical depression.
Yup, school is a pain. There’s no doubt about it. I loved it, but mainly because I love learning. There was a lot of BS to put up with that was for sure. And yeah, half of my classmates were idiots.
I think of school as bootcamp for the rest of your life. Sure, it’s hell, but when you’re done, you’re set.
And to some extent school is a metaphor for work. Nearly everything we hate about school has a doppelganger in work. People complain about stupid assignments, artificial deadlines, unclear instructions, micromanaging teachers, artificial deadlines, artificial constraints, having to work with idiots - these are all things you have to deal with in a work place. Maybe the degree of BS varies depending on the job, but they are all out there. Read some Dilbert. That will give you an idea.
Maybe your work schedule is more fixed. But maybe not. I was working in a clean room, compressed graveyard shifts, so 13 hour shifts three days a week, middle of the night. Once a month the engineers would want us to come in at noon for a meeting. That’s in the middle of our sleep cycle. It was insane. After two car accidents from techs falling asleep at the wheel trying to get into the meeting, they stopped. That’s what it took, not common sense, but people almost dying.
I think if you get into a fulltime work environment your’re going to find that things are less paradisaical than you think. Things will eerily remind you of school. But if you have a degree, you can be more selective. And make more money so at least for a few weeks a year you can blow off some steam in Fiji.
Again, I’m no therapist. If your counselor tells you something different, then go with that. But if you can tough it out, you will spend the rest of your life thanking yourself. But obviously if it’s at the expense of your health, then it’s not worth it.
Best of luck, whatever you decide.
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I can relate to how you feel when I was in college. I finished college in December of last year and it was a train wreck. I did not feel like I was a part of the group and I just wanted to get through it as fast as I could. You want to make that transition from just writing code in college to being an actual developer. It’s that you need some help to get there. I think moving out of state is not the best answer right now. As most of the others have already said, it is expensive and you have to factor in a lot of things before you make the move. One way to offset some of this cost is to find a job that will pay for relocation to wherever you want to go. I considered it and I live in Seattle.
Depression is a tough battle. I also suffer from depression and was going to a therapist which really changed my way of thinking and realizing that I can get through it, but it’s going to be a lifelong process. I definitely encourage you to continue therapy.
The situation you are in is not only challenging because you want to provide for your SO, but you also have to provide for yourself and make sure that you can get the results you want. You should start applying for jobs and at least sending out your resume. Since you said that you know C# very well, I would start looking for jobs that use C#/SQL either an internship to get into a permanent position or a junior level position.
I hope that these comments help and if you need to talk, don’t hesitate to send me a message.
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I keep typing and retyping this, and I can’t seem to find an elegant way to say what I’m thinking so I’m just going to try and get things out. Just to start off, I’ve been a software engineer for about 20 years now in various capacities and recently moved into management of a software and a firmware team. These are my experiences, your millage may vary.
The harsh reality that I’ve seen is that many places will not even look at your resume without a BS or BA degree. Period. HR is flooded with resumes all the time, and they need a way to filter them out. Using successfully completed 4 year degrees is a very typical way to do that. Also, there are folks that view not having a 4 year degree as a strike against you. Is that true everywhere? No. I’ve worked at two companies that have welcomed folks without 4 year degrees. But please understand that you are limiting your options if you don’t complete your degree. I’m not saying either option is right or wrong, I’m just telling you how it is right now.
Second thing, please don’t make the mistake of romanticizing the job of developer. Yes, developing software can be really cool. It’s fascinating work sometimes. That being said, you also haven’t yet seen the ridiculous deadlines, or the joy of forced, unpaid overtime. Every developer I know is an exempt employee, which means that they are exempt from the Federal Overtime Laws and regulations. Practically, what this means is that you may be told to work a full work day every Saturday for the next 4 months, unpaid, because your manager needs to show an effort in front of their manager. If you refuse, you will be terminated. And it’s all legal. Likewise, you can be told at 5 pm that you need to work until midnight, unpaid and uncompensated. You can also be told a day in advance that you will need to travel to a location a 1000 miles away for a week to solve a customer problem. And all of these things I’ve personally had to do.
That being said, this profession can be one of the most interesting and exciting ones out there, and I’m glad that this is what I do. But it’s not always fun, and it’s not always fair.
When I reread your post, the thing that jumps out at me is the depression. It’s obvious that you are struggling with it, and good for you for realizing that, as well as taking the initiative to seek help with it. Please keep doing so! I suspect that if you can get this better managed, you will find that college is less onerous. If I could offer you one single bit of advice, it would be to not make any life changing decisions until you have a better handle on your depression.
Ultimately, you need to do what’s right for you. Whatever that is, I wish you the best of luck.
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Just like all of life enjoyable at times but never fair
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See if you can switch to a less expensive option, ie. part-time or online. But make sure you make a clean break with your current college in terms of getting some proof of completion. i.e. you could apply to get an associate degree or diploma ensuring that you can take that and any modules/credit that you have to another college or institute if you so decide it. So in essence you’ve completed your course as far as that level and not necessarily dropped out. And leaves you an avenue if you ever want to start back and finish once you are settled into a new place/job etcetera. Try this book, some of it is very salient advice for developers and some of it can be fluff but overall I’ was reading aspects of it from his blog while he was composing the book https://www.amazon.com/Complete-Software-Developers-Career-Guide-ebook/dp/B073X6GNJ1/ref=asap_bc?ie=UTF8. So the chapters can be found in some detail on his blog if you look to find it https://simpleprogrammer.com/ or give me you email and i’ll see if I can find the email mail outs he did everytime he completed a section.
Really helped me in terms of deciding whether going back to college and realising like how you said, college is outdated and mostly irrelevant for not just what I want to do but it also seems for anything in the industry. It reaffirmed that but made my resolve to finish my degree stronger. Good luck with your decision
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You may want to look into just getting your associates and a certificate but also search for jobs that are entry level/junior positions…i too felt like the college was a waste of time…you could also consider transferring to another school to complete your degree…cal poly pomona has a more learn by doing approach
Good post … meaning, it’s good to see someone asking a question like this, as there are likely other people who will relate.
I relate, as I hated college, hated the behind-the-times nature of the material and the deep theory … I also suffer from depression, which thankfully is under control today.
I started college in 1990 (back in the olden days 
), when the Internet wasn’t really around for commercial purposes yet and cellphones were something huge and only affordable by rich people. I started out EE, switched to CS, which was already behind the times and falling further behind, then I switched to Math … I’m not gonna lie, I hated college. After 7 part-time years of school, the Internet blowing up into primetime, and 19 hours left to complete my Math degree (CS minor already done), I got an internship at Silicon Graphics through a friend of mine, and then …
I HAPPILY QUIT SCHOOL!!
It was one of the most difficult transitions of my life, but after a couple months, I thought I had it made … I was in. I was 25, living on my own terms with my own job as a professional in the tech world. For 7 years, I worked hard, did web development, was really good at it, and loved my professional life. I got to the point that I did some freelance work for a variety of companies, and I was friends with a woman at one of the companies, Aramco … back then, a big deal company who really took care of their people. She loved me, loved my work, loved paying me high dollars. She insisted that I work there, and she would vouch for me as a stand-up developer who should be part of this great company. I told her I didn’t have a degree, but she said that it wouldn’t be an issue, and her boss would sing my praises as well.
So, we arranged an interview with HR!
First question out of the gate … “Do you have a degree?” I said, no but I only have 19 hours remaining, and my experience should speak for itself, as I had 7 years more experience than a fresh college grad.
He then said … "Well, no degree, no employment with Aramco. I’m sorry, it’s company policy.
I was really upset! I felt entitled to a full interview, to be heard, to have my experiences be part of the conversation … he ended the interview then and there. Turns out the only reason he set the appointment with me was because of the good word my friend had put in for me … but it was a complete waste of time. I interviewed with a different dept a year or two later, but they offered $25K less than market for my skillset at the time … again, a complete waste of time and very upsetting.
I forged ahead, attempted to get one of those speedy degrees at UoPhoenix, but that lasted all of 2 weeks … waste of time … hated it. So, after some frustration, I found a great job working for a very small business and found support from the owner to go back and finish my degree (which I’m happy to say that I did by end of 2004 in Math).
Now I have that “stupid piece of paper”, and there is not much in this world that I am more proud of than my Math degree. For me, it was this nagging thing that limited my options, and I had 19 hours of college remaining for 7 years. Going through the last of it took 1.5 years and was completely awful, because I had to fight through the voice that kept insisting that I wasn’t good or smart enough to get through it. It was brutal, but that’s why it had to be done, because I now have a BS in Math, and a minor in CS … but look, I’m not special in Math or CS … but I have that stupid piece of paper … it’s done, and no one can take that away.
In interviews, it never comes up because it’s on the rez. However, if it ever comes up, I will allow about 10 seconds to focus on it, because that will never again take up MY time in an interview … it’s done, let’s talk about my skills and experience, as that’s what matters now.
My point with all this is that you have a very difficult decision ahead of you, and I wanted to give you a potential look at you in 20-25 years. I have a degree, I own my own business, I love learning and spend hours every week learning different tech or getting better with the current tech I know … one thing I’m never worried about is having to go to an interview and have a “stupid conversation” about a “stupid piece of paper” that says I took some “stupid outdated classes”.
I’m not making fun when I quote, I actually agree on some level that the piece of paper is stupid, and college to some degree is definitely not for everyone … it certainly was not for me. But, know that if you want to stay competitive in this field, above and beyond having to constantly learn new tech, having that college degree is simply part of the entrance to a potentially better and unlimited way of life as a developer.
You have to follow your instincts, but arm yourself with the proper knowledge about what life may be like with and without the degree. You’re so close to completing it, and it will likely haunt you if you don’t finish … take it from someone who lived that way … it sucked!
I’d recommend getting online and looking for part-time/remote work as a developer (there’s a good bit out there) to subsidize your income while you complete the degree. If you were 1-2 semesters in, I’d understand wanting to walk away, but you don’t have much to go, and trust me when I say that the 1.5-2 years it may take to finish may not feel quick, but when you’re done, it will seem like a blip in terms of your life, and then you can enjoy your career.
As harsh as it may sound, you need a mental adjustment as well … allowing yourself to continually act like a victim is not going to help you at all. You need to see a doctor about your depression, and possibly discuss getting on a generic prescription to get you to a place that you can manage the depression (I fought this notion for years, and when I finally did it, it changed my world). This will make your life better and manageable, without altering your ability to think and create. Then, if you decide to try and finish school or if you decide to get work, you need to talk to yourself about the positive direction your taking and own it. Don’t dwell on the crap that brings you down, it’s a vicious and never-ending cycle that keeps you oppressed … and YOU are the person that can dictate that direction.
I feel for you … it was a tough, but life-changing road for me as I went through it. But, it took me a long time to realize the right road to travel. I hope this helped in some way, and I wish you the best in your travels!
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@donyd and @jvpink200 I’d gladly get an associates degree if it was offered here, but it isn’t. I might look into transferring or something, but currently, I haven’t found any good options. Thanks for the advice!
That’s a long, well thought out post, and I’ve read it but don’t know if I’ll be able to respond to the entire thing, but let me try.
First and foremost, I’ve tried about 3 or 4 different meds for my depression. None have helped, most have either made it worse or given me incredibly bad side effects. I can’t afford an actual therapist, so I have to use on-campus counseling, which is by grad students, and on-campus health-care, which is nurse practitioners with not enough time for each patient and still costs me 50 bucks. I can’t even get counseling during the summer because it is only offered during the semesters.
As far as the victim card, I’m putting in my time. I’m actively working on getting a job, I currently work, and I’m taking summer courses to get out sooner. I don’t want to act like a victim, I’m trying my damnedest not to, but feeling like crap most days and being unable to sleep really eats at you after a while.
Back to your anecdote and helpful advice, I’m currently still holding out for a chance of finding some good internship or part-time job that will help me at least pay for things and be more comfortable, but I’d rather make enough to be comfortable now so can pay off debt, save up, then return and do it later when my SO can cover the bills.
I’d also be fine with freelancing, but I’m 0-for-5 on tries at that. Haven’t been able to find a contract anywhere, on job-boards, cold-calls to local businesses, UpWork, Freelancer, or Craigslist.
Thanks again for your personal story, and for all your advice. It is nice to hear from someone who’s been through it.
Yeah, I’m verbose sometimes, but my hope is that it helps. 
I meant no offense with my victim comment … it was meant to jar you a bit, to realize it. I do believe you’re putting in your time, and working through this. Depression has a nasty way of enabling one to see the worst in all situations, as you are probably aware. Further, it simply feels like the worst in a given situation and so you believe it … I understand this completely. And that, to me, is the biggest problem for you going forward. I did nothing for 44 years about my depression and increasing anxiety, and finally had an event that led me, not to a therapist, but to my general doctor (PCP), and at 45 I finally have some control over both. It is the thing that concerns me most about your situation, as I lived this craziness and frustration that you’re experiencing now … for far too long.
My advice, if you will accept it, is to talk with a PCP, someone who will listen to your history with depression and meds, and see if there’s a particular anti-depressant and amount that may work for you. The other side of this is to talk to that voice inside, that negative voice, and work with it to calm it or quash its ability to convince you of the worst case scenario. It’s difficult, but it’s what got me through finishing my degree.
It sounds like you’re doing the things you need to be doing. If you have a year of solid C# under your belt, then you should be able to find some work … it’s a great skill to have. As you have time, up your front-end skills (HTML, CSS, JS and some flavors like jQuery, Angular, React), as these have become highly sought after … everywhere! And, honestly, you’re not much of a web developer without them … unless you strictly want to focus on backend, but the demand there is lower.
Thank you for sharing your story and glad you’re seeking help with this situation here on the forums … that’s a very good sign. You clearly want to have a better lot in life. Know that it’s out there, and you just have to keep after it … but … and I know I’m nagging at this point … please attempt to find management of your depression. I do believe that will serve you best right now, and allow you the mental clarity you need to tackle these other decisions.
Good luck, man!
Good idea xD 
It’ll knock down a ton of people who most probably won’t understand low level basic concepts ^-^
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Finally someone who understands where I’m coming from.
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I appreciate you sharing your situation and your struggles and thank everyone else for their thoughtful responses as well. Depression is a vicious monster. I’ve also suffered from it tremendously and still haven’t been able to “manage” it but I’m hanging in there.
School was hell for me too and today remains extremely challenging. I did not attend college directly after high school but did go several years later after taking a detour which was probably not worth it. When I eventually did go back, I was too impatient and scared to take the required math and physics courses for a CS degree so I settled on digital art and music.
I really wish I had stuck with CS because 5.5 years later when I finally got the “stupid” diploma, all I had was “a license to learn” in an industry that doesn’t care about degrees but about what you have to show and what you can do. I never found a real job, mostly odd jobs I didn’t care for. Now in my mid thirties I’m back at community college to get an AS in programming and taking the math courses I should have completed in the beginning. In California nearly all state schools will not permit a second bachelor’s which makes my original degree choice seem like even more of a mistake. Meanwhile my gremlin tells me I’m the most pitiful 36 y/o around, still unable to support myself independently, barely paying the rent. But I resolve to keep going with the low amount of energy that I have. “At least we’re not being shot at,” a guy told me yesterday.
I encourage you, like other folks, to stick with your degree program if you’re able. I know how debilitating depression is, but I believe having the CS degree will be worth it in the long run. It’s true, education is changing and our options now extend beyond the traditional university model, but it may be wise to “finish what you started” if you can. At the same time though, C# is at the top of the list of languages in demand so if you’re solid in your knowledge of it with a year of experience and have a little portfolio of projects you’ve worked on, I think it’s absolutely possible for you to get a job as a junior developer, but you may also have to rely on contacts and do a bit of networking, which is brutal when you’re dealing with depression, especially in addition to school and work already, or find it hard to fake being an extrovert. In any event, thank goodness you have your SO to walk your path with you.
I wish you the best of luck and thank you again for reaching out.
Casey
Freelance is our everything