I'm afraid I'll never find a job

I'm afraid I'll never find a job
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#22

@AmirF27 Hi. Hope you don’t take this the wrong way but you haven’t done anything yet. What I mean by that is on FCC. (https://www.freecodecamp.com/AmirF27) I just checked your profile and you have spent a total of one day on FCC. Hardly any time to judge whether this site will help you get a job!

When you have done some projects, then we can judge if you have what it takes.

My advice: spend more time going through the course than posting on the forum. :wink:


#23

First of all, it’s okay and understandable to feel fear. You studied and got a diploma and did not get the results you wanted, a job. Now your subconscious is trying to protect you by sending out fear signals. It perceives a risk in you continuing to apply for jobs or studying more because it might not pan out. It doesn’t want you to be injured. This is Emotional Intelligence-the subconscious fight or flight response.

But how you feel and how you behave are two different things and it’s up to you. You have what some would refer to as a “limiting belief”: I have tried this before, I didn’t get a job, so nothing will be different in the future. That shows in the following statement:

I’m desperate to improve my life, but it somehow feels that if someone hasn’t managed to build a respectable career by my age, chances are they never will.

Yet, there are many cases and evidence to show that statement is not real for others, so the question becomes, why does it have to be real for you? Do you have a crystal ball?

But, no one on these forums can solve your confidence issue. Neither this reply nor anyone else’s is finally going to prove to you that you have what it takes or that you will get a job. I think you are suffering from the human condition to be risk-averse, and it sounds like possibly some conditioning you’ve had that you are not a successful person. No one can solve that for you.

I would like to suggest that alongside your coding study, you get some books, audio books, or youtube playlists on these topics. Look up limiting beliefs, “taming your gremlin”, emotional intelligence, heck even just fear and anxiety. Just like software bugs, these are known problems of the human condition and there are lessons to be learned on making it better.

A lot of people here have tried to help you, whether through sympathy, tough love, testimonial and support. But ultimately none of it will stick unless you work on self improvement. I am sure some people on here will think this is ridiculous, but this has served me well. I have always read self help books on taking risks, feeling at peace, combating anxiety, being happy. This world can be a difficult place but it is what it is and you have to get up every day and make the best you can of it.

Happy to chat more if you’d like any more recommendations, but you won’t find your answers by continually posting your fears. You have to look within!


#24

@svmi3195 No, I’m sure I have depression. I think it’s obvious, but my therapist keeps denying it when I tell her I think I’m depressed. I know it has nothing to do with web development, but maybe it will give a possible reason as to why I’m denying stuff people are telling me… and I’m sorry for this, but it’s out of my control.


#25

@JohnnyBizzel I’ve said a few times that the reason I haven’t started with the curriculum yet is that I’m doing another web development course and waiting to finish it first. So, I am doing something, just haven’t got to start on FCC yet, but will do soon.


#26

Well I think you can do both. The FCC early challenges are short and easy to complete. Stick at it. Unfortunately we need money to survive so that pressure is always there but doing something you enjoy will ultimately lead to the life you want! It took me +5 years after my degree to get where I wanted to be.


#27

@jenovs I’m not whining… I guess I just need support. Since my last topic I’ve finished the front end section of another course I’m currently taking. I do have some small projects that we did in the course, and one not-so-small front end app that I did myself, and I would show them, but I haven’t posted them anywhere on the internet yet. Waiting to create my portfolio website and I’ll put them there. So, yeah, despite feeling this way, I did do some progress.

With that said, you’re right that I should spend the time feeling bad on studying instead, but I find that sometimes I just can’t help it. This feeling sometimes is too overwhelming and keeps me back until I fight it and get back to studying, and I’ll be honest that I sometimes feel it’s hard to fight it alone.

I don’t want anyone to feel sorry for me, that’s not productive in any way. I guess what I need is support and encouragement that people can change their life and it’s not too late for me as I tend to believe.


#28

@robgaston1 You’ve just described exactly the way I’m feeling. Thank you a lot for your reply, made me realize a few things that I need to work on. Or rather literally force myself to work on, as I’ll admit it’s easier to just say “I’m a failure” and believe it rather than work on believing it’s not true so it stops holding you back. I would appreciate it if you could suggest some books.


#29

[quote=“AmirF27, post:24, topic:67265”]
No, I’m sure I have depression. I think it’s obvious, but my therapist keeps denying it when I tell her I think I’m depressed. I know it has nothing to do with web development, but maybe it will give a possible reason as to why I’m denying stuff people are telling me… and I’m sorry for this, but it’s out of my control.
[/quote]Then you should concentrate your efforts on 1) learning for your future (because without this you won’t change your life) and 2) treating your disease. Don’t search for answers - anyways your judgement is flawed because of the disease. When you have depression, it’s no point to ask people “am I miserable?”, because that voice inside will always say “yes, of course” and you will not accept any other answer, no matter how sincere and reasonable it will be. Same with “is there a career after 25 y.o.”, “is it possible to learn web dev before I’ll become grandpa”, etc. Maybe try to change therapist or seek comfort from your friends/relatives.


#31

In my case it’s totally true. Sometimes I make mistakes (really embarrassing) but every time I learn something. I find myself forking pens and tweaking until I can offer some solution (obviously sometimes I can’t). I don’t even do it to help anymore…:smiling_imp: <-- selfish bast***


#32

You shouldn’t spend time writing this kind of posts, instead STUDY.


#33

@P1xt Yes, you’ve got it right.

I’m really really sorry if I give the impression that I don’t care about what you guys say. You for example have given me invaluable advice and some resources that I’m going to concentrate on along with FCC when I’m done with the Udemy course. Though I’d like to say the reason I’ve been working on the same course for over a month is that it’s a long course (40 hours) and covers full stack web development. I also had to take a little break, so it’s taking a while.

Your suggestion is great. That’s what I’ve been planning to do, and that’s what I’m going to do. No more posts for me (except for replying to new posts on this thread) unless I reply to other members’ posts and try to help in any way I can.


#35

To be honest with you, this is the best position you can be in. As someone who has conducted interviews I can tell you stories like this are the best tool you can have in an interview. You were down, you set a goal, worked your butt off and now you have put yourself in a place to achieve. It’s powerful stuff and that’s the character company’s are looking to hire. Good luck out there!


#36

38 year old single dad here, no diploma, no degree, pending diagnosis hanging over me for far too long now, and if I don’t start earning pretty soon… no home. And for the cherry on top, we can throw on a few bereavements just to make sure my head is wrecked. And yes, sometimes I also think what’s the point of learning all this stuff, sometimes I feel that by the time I’m any good at programming the world will have moved on and I’ll still be redundant. Sometimes I feel that I can someday be as good at programming as the best on this forum but I also know that I can’t sell myself verbally. Not one little bit. Put me in front of someone and ask me to explain something (anything) and my brain somehow disconnects itself from everything I know about that particular matter. With all this going around my head my choices are:

  1. get sad and give up, rinse, repeat :thumbsdown:
  2. chin up, crack on, show your brain how its done :thumbsup:

I’ve put a hint at the end of each choice to help show you which is probably the best approach :smiley:

The thing is I don’t count my life as particularly problematic. No more than other people in my life and certainly no more than what some people in the world are faced with. I like to look at it like that. It helps me keep perspective when I start feeling down about things.

It’s all a matter of perspective. You can feel like the whole world is against you succeeding at becoming a developer but that simply IS. NOT. TRUE. The fact of the matter is this - If you can get good at programming or development no one will give a s**t about your age. Only your ability matters and at the moment from what I’ve read of your posts, the only thing standing in the way of your ability is your lack of perspective. So choose an option from above, choose one of the paths recently made for us by @p1xt, or carry on along your own study path. Just keep perspective. When you have perspective, things find their natural order and you can look forwards. Without it your outlook is warped and as you probably know, a warped space can bend the light.

Good luck

Mark


#37

@AmirF27, I would like to add to what @P1xt said about replying (which I think you should do).
Sometimes it can be hard to find a question you can help on. The last thing that should happen is that you get discouraged because you can’t find someone you can help! My suggestion is to go to the project feedback category:


And find some starter projects such as the tribute page, portfolio page, etc. and simmply encourage people. You are obviously discouraged. Start looking at other people’s work. Not only can you be an encouragement to other people, I am absolutely sure that other’s work will be an encouragement to you. Look what so and so did after one month of learning… I know I can do that too if not better. So if you are following @P1xt’s advice but can’t seem to find any good questions to answer, just look at some people’s projects and encourage them! I promise you won’t regret it :slight_smile:


#38

There is literally a book called “Taming Your Gremlin” which is all about the critical voice inside you that believes you are not good enough.

The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz
Uh-Oh by Robert Fulghum
Don’t Stress the Small Stuff (Richard Carlson, I think?)
How to stop worrying and start living by Dale Carnegie

Those may not all be for you, heck, they may not be for you at all. But there are TONS of titles out there, and bound to be someone who speaks in a way that resounds with you.


#39

I am new to the web site and this was the first discussion board I stumble upon. I guess it subconscious because I am in a pretty much the same situation of self-doubt and desperate desire to change something in my life. I would love to pick your brain about self-help. Overall this community seems very accepting and supportive. :slight_smile:


#40

Fact:
In the next year, there will be a shortage of coders.

Now, it’s up to you to be ready with the proper (not perfect!) skills.

PS. (43 years old with kids) - I quit a 10 years career in the shity finance world, and I gave myself one year time for a career switch and a bulletproof future.


#41

@P1xt Done. A lot of the questions were about the projects on the curriculum, which I haven’t done yet so I couldn’t be of help there, but I did find something I can (hopefully) help with. Next I’ll do what @IsaacAbrahamson suggested.

P.S.: Thanks for everyone for the replies. I’d like to say I’m not ignoring your replies, but I’m keeping to my word that if I want to reply on one of my threads I have to reply to someone else’s thread first and try to help (as much as I can anyway). I would also like to add that I’m grateful I found FCC. In addition to the amazing material here, I also value the supportive community, so thanks again. :slight_smile:


#42

@AmirF27 Here is a motivation videos I’d take a look at! (Don’t let the title scare you! HA!!)

Keep at it! you’re still young and have a lot of years ahead of you! keep coding!

https://youtu.be/ci6Tgv9UbFk


#43

Here’s the tl;dr of my post.
Ask yourself two questions:

  1. How much time do I waste every day?
  2. What am I doing every day to become a better coder/programmer/whatever you want to do?

LOL. Uh, no. That’s not the case at all. I’m 42 years old and have made various career changes in my life. I can write pages on my story, but really the bottom line is you really have to want it. It’s that simple.
I’m going to ask you something; something you need to be honest to yourself about: how much time do you waste? I’m talking about playing games, watching TV, feeling like “meh, maybe tonight I won’t work on this or that.” There are 24 hours in a day, how are you spending those hours? Do you only have enough time every day to work/eat/sleep? Do you have days off? You have to committ to what you want. I’ll be honest here, though… if you’re really not hungry about coding or programming, and maybe just enamored with the idea of being a coder, this isn’t going to work. You have to dig down deep and be honest with yourself and figure out what it is you want, and then make sure every day you’re doing something towards that goal. You want to be a coder? Did you code today? No? The day’s not over, code. Do a lesson on FCC, read a chapter in a book and follow the example, watch a youtube demo and follow along. Do something. @P1xt put together an AMAZING list of resources to follow along. I just found that list last night and I’m revising my plans after reading his post on the topic of finishing FCC. That is a great read and a terrific starting point.