I also gave up on getting a tech job. I’m 24, have always struggled with social anxiety, depression, low self esteem etc. and spend all my time alone. Have put so many hours into learning programming with nothing to show for it. When my friend got me a job interview at a data warehouse they were pretty rude to me, told my friend they wanted someone with a personality. I’m pretty much a robot 90% of the time. Nonverbal, just complete my tasks one by one like a computer program.
I personally had a bad experience with mental health facilities when I was thinking about suicide. I was basically beat up by the staff members at a crisis center several times because I kept running away because I just wanted to go home instead of sitting in an empty room with a bunch of drugees for a week. I hate wasting my time. When I got out of the mental hospital I got fired from my job and I spent the next year laying in my bed with no one to talk to. I don’t know if I’m autistic, schizoid, or what. When I am in public I just keep to myself and say the bare minimum to get whatever I’m doing done. I don’t show much personality or emotion.
I recently started taking this drug called modafinil which is supposed to give you a lot of energy and motivation so I hope that will help me get back into tech and finally get a job. I’ve been working as a pizza driver the past few months and have seen a lot of messed up stuff, have had my phone stolen out of my car, am putting thousands of miles on my car and putting a lot of money into repairs. I don’t get paid enough for this. It’s time I get a real job.