Hi there. I’m a Frontend Developer, but these past months I’ve been struggling so much and I’d love to hear some advice. I’ll give some backstory as to where is my situation right now. Sorry if this is long
I graduated from a web development career a while back but soon landed a job at a marketing positions as a UX analyst. The thing is I didn’t really do UX there but mostly JS coding as I was the only one in the area who could do it.
Then I started to feel like a fish out of water cause no one really understood what I was doing, and I was eager to get better but no one could help me there, so I started searching for another job after almost 2 years.
To my surprise I landed a job at an engineering position! I was so excited. One of the things they really liked to hear from me was that I love to learn (which I certainly do). I didn’t even knew what a version control system was, or scrums, haven’t really touched one of the most popular JS frameworks, so I was super nervous but excited.
I just made it to my first year in this new position. There have been really hard days and good days. I’ve learn so much and everyone has been so patient with me, but then there are times when I had to stay late or work in the weekends cause of me working slow while I learn. First days I left the office with a headache because of all the info dump but I pushed through, read documentations and asked/bothered people around so I could get my tasks done. All this time though, I didn’t have a Frontend manager yet, until 4 months ago.
Then my real struggle began. Since the beginning I received really useful feedback on my code from my fellow coworkers and I appreciated it every time. I felt like I was growing. But when my new manager gives me feedback, it’s so overwhelming and I feel smaller every time. He questions every single thing I propose, and I understand that’s what it’s all about but he never agrees with my code. Never. He always demands more than what I am tasked to do, and talks soooo so much when giving me context of why is it that what I’m doing is wrong.
It got to the point where he said to me I have to look at the basics of programming again. That really got to me. I never felt smaller, more incompetent, and then he went on saying that “it’s ok to make mistakes, as long as you learn from them. That’s the kind of people he wants to keep”. I perceived that as “you better improve or you’re getting fired”.
I have been considering switching to a less technical career, maybe just web designing since I have some design background as well that I really like (I’m kind of an artist too). Not just because of what my manager says, but lately I realized sprints are tough and I stress easily so not a good combination.
What should I do? I don’t feel like reporting this kind of feedback from my manager cause I fear he might be right. Maybe I’m not cut out for this. I don’t have enough time to go beyond on my tasks cause I keep working slow, test a million things before finding the solution and then I run out of time on the sprint, but then my manager expects me to excel every time and it’s so much pressure.
Thanks for reading, looking forward for any advice.