Panic day-when you know you're in trouble

So today, I’ve got assigned something that I should’ve asked for help and the guy who I was looking for was offshore and while he was explaining to me (nicely) at first,we both got a meeting,so we had to cut the explanation call short and soon after the meeting finished the guy left and now I have no clue what I’m doing, There are some business logic that I don’t understand at all and that guy has worked with like for a couple of years.

I’m a junior BE dev, this is my first job, this sucks, this is like the least thing I expected on any day, I’ve been struggling since day one and my anxiety is through the roof and no one else helps,no one gives me any feedback or expectations up until today, guess I’m gonna have to keep winging it…this sucks, hope everyone else have a good day.

Yeah, most of us felt lost on our first job. It’s like you spent a year studying all about swimming - you read books, watched videos, etc. But then one day that want you to get in the pool and swim and you feel helpless. Some of that is just natural.

As to your current problem, do you know what is worse than having a dev on your team that is lost? Having a dev on your team who is lost and is trying to hide it. Just sack up and say, “Sorry, I need some more guidance on this.” Take notes and do your best. Any dev worth his weight in salt will lend a hand.

I know it seems awkward. But it’s a lot less awkward than having the same conversation a week from now.

“do you know what is worse than having a dev on your team that is lost? Having a dev on your team who is lost and is trying to hide it.”

Oh did I learned that lesson yesterday, fortunately I had someone to help me understand the story and managed to pull something off, the funny thing is, I can read all about “it’s ok to say I don’t know” and be prepared to be a pain in the butt and ask a lot of questions, well not everyone is willing to help or they’re too busy, then embarrassment and not wanting to be annoying kicks in, I learned something about myself that usually screams “I feel embarrassed to ask”, so my boss was explaining the story to me and then he asked if I got it clear, the thing is, I still didn’t know what the story was exactly referring to, for me it still was vague,so my mistake was , that I wasn’t honest, so I guess that’s one of those things where you gotta be completely honest no matter how embarassing it feels, that could’ve ended up impacting the business overall and I was just worrying about my ego.

Thanks for taking the time to read this Kevin.

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