So many problems, where should I begin?

I have so many problems, i dont know where I should start!

Ive been always struggling with motivation. I lose motivation very quickly. I start with something without finishing it. I should be studying/ programming right now, but here I am! I am looking for distractions on youtube, Google and yeah!

I have a very hard time focussing on one task and finishing it. I don’t know why. It feels like my body doesn’t want me to study.

I have all these dreams, but the gap of where I am right now vs where I want to be at, is waaaay too big!

This fact makes me sooooo depressing. It eats me like a cancer from the inside. And I also hold grudges to certain people. These emotions hold me back from my succes and makes me unable to function properly.

Please people, help me! I want to pursure a career as a web developer, but my mind/ body doesn’t let me! I am sabotaging myself by looking for distractions etc.

Also sleep is a big problem. I sleep too little even though I go to bed at 10pm. It doesnt matter how early or late i go I cant fall asleep! FucK!

I am soooo done with this!

I need help from the outside, my inner motivation has gone empty. Ive put soooo much effort working on myself but with no desired result!

Ive been living under a lot of stress continuously the last YEARS, and i quit jobs many times because the stress was TOO Much for me. I couldn’t think, talk or function normally anymore.

I hope my brain is not damaged?? It REALLY feels like this. I feel like a downie. An idiot! Help me, someone out there!

I have a lot of tension in my body. Especially in my neck area, jaw, and I notice my breathing is shallow. I sometimes smell the smoke of cigarettes in my nose even though it isn’t there! WTF?!!

maybe you need to bring your concerns to your doctor and to a therapist, as much as people on the internet can give advices and cheer you on, most often it is not enough.

Sometimes the first step is trying to take care of yourself, sometimes you need to take yourself in greater consideration
Sometimes you need to act as if you give yourself value, and do something for yourself.

Self-esteem, motivation, will-power, it is a feedback loop, once you start improving a bit somewhere, it gets better. And if it starts getting worse it gets bad fast.

And a doctor and a therapist are a great way to start to take care of yourself.

(I’m trying, too, in this direction, and on the long run, with ups and downs, it works)

Ive seen many therapists and doctors for these problems, but it didnt work out and eventually I quit going. My approach to mental health or health issues in general is also very different from the western approach. I approach it holisticly, meaning: looking at the whole picture, instead of focusing on ONE symptom.

I am very against treating symptoms. Rather find the root cause and destroy the root cause. Problem solved for good! My problem is: I dont know the root cause of my problems. I should find this out together, but with who?

I try to eat healthy, exercise daily, meditate, scheduling my days and I try to relax. But I have a very hard time being consistent. I fall back on unhealthy habits, like surfing the web the whole day not exercising and eating junk food.

So I KNOW what i should do, but i dont do it and i do the opposite instead. Fuck! :S

@webdeveloper You can use the search tool (top right) to see topics others have created in the past relating to how to deal with the stresses of learning something new like programming. Maybe one of the answers in those threads can give you some good advice.

Just keep in mind, this community is probably not the best place to ask such a question as it is devoted to teaching people to code. We do not specialize in medicine or holistic practices, so I suggest you also try to find a site/forum that fits the approach you are seeking.

I can suggest the course on coursera “The Science of Well Being” from professor

And remember, it is a marathon, it is an ever fought battle. It is not something that changes one day from an other, but it will always need effort.

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I felt exactly like you for a very long time. One thing that helped me is to actually quit my dreams and aspirations! Sounds very counter intuitive specially in today’s dream big world we’re living. But it helps. It is OK to be average. It is OK to have a 9 to 5 job. It is OK not to be rich. It is OK not to have a million followers on social media. It is OK to be normal. Just treat people well, don’t harm others, make a living, any living… and grow slowly and steadily. Maybe one day you’ll be lucky enough and have enough skill and opportunity to contribute something significant to the world. But if you never get there it is OK… being harmless to people and earth is good enough…

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Comparison kills. dont ever compare yourself with other programmers. you dont what they have been through. When someone makes a tutorial, he/she does not do it without preparations. videos are the finite products. they have practiced it before or solve the problem off camera before most of the time. dont feel bad if you cant
solve an HTML or javascript problem for right now.
Make sure you learn something everyday. make sure you become better everyday.
It’s holly day season, allow yourself some great rest and hanging out with friends, families and close ones. you wont be a programmer in one day. you wont be programmer in month. be calm. dont forget that you’re unique and comparison is killing.

I don’t think this is best place to raise a concern like that.

A few suggestions from me :

  • Believe that everything happens for a reason.
  • We gotta learn from our own decisions.
  • We should be our motivating factor.
  • Just keep thinking that you’re awesome.

For throwing away the distractions, you can resort to some time management techniques like Pomodoro and keep listing the activities that you gotta do on a day.

Surely, you will be an awesome Web Developer.

Keep Dreaming. Keep Learning. Live your dreams.

The fact that you are posting here means you care and you HAVE motivation. Don’t be too hard on yourself, learning and motivation comes with time. You can only do, what you can do. Meaning, don’t put unrealistic expectations on yourself and try to find small wins each day. I would also agree to see your doctor about your well-being. There is no shame in getting help from a professional.

Never ever go to a therapist unless you can find one that is genuine. Most of them are so fake and have destroyed so many lives.

Check out Dr. Mercola. He is a famous medical doctor and has helped so many people including my own family and friends.