I got out of a coding bootcamp in december, honestly, I felt like I struggled till the end and that I learned poorly, the program manager insisted that I had “imposter syndrome” and didn’t allow to move to an UX program, I decided to move along with the bootcamp since I had no choice, and I now I feel stuck,with no job, broke and unable to do even a simple seed object list into a MongoDB database, I feel I got ripped off and ashamed that most of my peers got jobs and I´m sitting on my ass still figuring stuff out after three months.
The most hurting feeling is that, I´m stuck between a rock and a hard place , I cant give up since I already spent money on the camp and my portfolio is practically shit, and it figures since I can’t develop a REST api on my own and …also that, I can’t build anything, I have a hard time figuring stuff out and the amount of help I got comes from either people who look at me like I´m an burden or like if they´re talking to an idiot.
I´m 32, I don´t really have all the time in the world so to speak,nor I have the recruiters looking to back me up without giving them the idea that I´m just gonna end up becoming a dead weight on a team,I just, hoped I wouldn´t be struggling this bad or even had to admit that I made a bad decision, but, well you can`t fool anybody at a certain point ayou´ll be only left with the option to admit it and suck it up,tell yourself you´re a fucking idiot,try something else in life, but, again, that´s not gonna help me either way, my question is, when should I give up and stop trying to fool myself?