I’ve been in this same boat. The only answer is to just jump in and do some stuff and try things. Remember, JavaScript IS a programming language, and building web apps from HTML, CSS, and JavaScript makes you a developer.
That being said, if you want to eventually land a job, I would try to discover what area of development you are most interested in. For me, I found that ‘Front-end web developer’ pretty much summed up everything I’m interested in.
Also, keep in mind that while doing web development usually does involve design to a large degree, it is not the same as being a web designer. Find out what you love to do the most and dig into that in every spare moment.
For me, I have two jobs, and 3 kids - So it meant that when I have spare time, I can choose to either log onto youtube, freeCodeCamp, etc. and do some learning and practicing, or I can turn on Netflix or a game and tune out the world. Choosing to invest in your interests will never be a waste of time. The more you practice and try the finer that laser will become and doors will begin to open.
I am a technical support analyst with no prior experience in the Computer/IT industry, but over time, I found that I really enjoy building web pages, and web apps, so that’s where I focus my energy. I am now the acting Front-end web developer for a software company and work with developers and software engineers who have masters degrees in Computer science. In contrast, I have a high school diploma as a home school student and no college degree.
I don’t design, that’s what the company’s graphics designer does. I just take the designs and write the front-end code that makes the designs work. I do need to be able to converse with the full-stack and back-end developers so that usually requires additional research but that’s par for the course in this industry.
To sum up, don’t be discouraged, just jump in and try. It would not be a waste of your time to go through every road map that freeCodeCamp has to offer if nothing but to help you find what you are really interested in.
Being an IT guru is not a requirement, but not a waste of time either.