In January, after interviews, I fall into a hard depression and I felt miserable but I chose to overcome it focusing on learning what I failed on interviews. So I struggled for more than two months with self-esteem, depression and I read and reread a lot. It was a very good decision to concentrate on study rather than stay in my own disappointment. Even after years of programming, I felt I am not what I wished and hoped to be. Mostly, I felt that everything is pointless. Years of struggle with code and programming problems for nothing. I remembered all those that said I am not a programmer and even those that said I will never be one. I felt so, so unable to handle the situation or change something. So, I accepted. I am not a good programmer.
In Mars, my phone ringed and I had to resign my dull, long years as junior programmer position that I disliked so much because I have received almost a double offer from one of those that did not give me an answer after interviews for more than three months. After I received the contract my phone rang again. Another company offered me another position. The most desired position that I wished for. I was amazed and stunt. It wasn’t a mistake. More than one company wanted me. Three months of self-torture and depression just because of lack of patience.
For years I fought that I am too weak and too unprepared to apply for a new job that I desired. Only one HR women insisted to overcome my own lack of confidence and I listen to her and I tried. After that little light of hope, three months of darkness followed.
Next week, I will go to my new job with a double salary and I am laughing. Many of my coworkers envy me and were so surprised. How I did the step. I am also surprised by my own stupidity. How could I be so stupid, so many years, to reject all the interviews?
Please don’t be, don’t do like me. Overcome your fears, don’t decline interviews, learn from them and take the chance. Embrace failures, learn from them and be patient beyond reach. Time will reward you.
PS: I am very sorry for my bad English.