Job search depression, burnout and posterity

so here goes,
ive been a programmer since approx '91 mainly hobby, then did IT, call center, ccna and in 2012 turned professional php developer.
according to my wakatime i code approx 1900 hrs per year, but still cant even seem to land an interview. it seems just like a waste of time, talking with recruiters, and getting ghosted.
its very depressing its like wtf is wrong with me, i am constantly refining my skills, sharpening the sword and its going nowhere. The last job I worked in was designing a erlang app for a moving company, long story short i got a head injury and they fired me because i couldn’t produce, there was lots of mismanagement ( incorrect project specifications/wrong technology choices) from a junior (his first) project manager, so i cant blame them too much its was a learning experience for him as well.
The problem is im now homeless, and have been so for 2ish years. I have a unique situation that prevents me from doing many types of jobs with radial ulnar joint instability, this prevents me from full articulation of my left hand, therefore making change,holding money, i absolutely hate paper, cant open soda bottles w/o help. i only have 2 lbs of finger force. but i digress.
i chose to do this as i saw it as my only outlet from escaping this situation, as my hands will eventually need surgery, but ive lost my posterity, and am in a bad state, have severe depression most of the time, im not a people person, so what do i do? recruiters have made me feel like ive wasted 20k hrs of my life. is there maybe a different career choice that could be better for me, i eat sleep and breathe code, so maybe an industry that is more in demand but isnt so hacky, or has artificially inflated deadlines with herd/brogrammer mentatility?

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First of all, I’m so sorry you’re having trouble. Depression alone can be devastating but to compile it with everything else you’re going through is beyond rough.

Just to clarify in regards to your left hand, can you still code reasonably well with it?

Also, do you have a resume and/or portfolio you can post for feedback? Maybe someone here can point out some places for improvement with them that might be turning potential employers away.


anything will help, ya i can code just slower than non injured peoples. i have a specialized kb to deal with it.
my portfolio is on github

I am not sure why you have two accounts you would display. Just pick repo. Also, you have many repos you have forked. You want to pin anything you have created so they show up first. Also, your site does not have much at all on it. No hiring manager is just going to look through your GithHub repos for you projects. Instead, you need to pick your best projects and put them on your site and have a link to the projects on GitHub. Also, your resume should be a page of your site and have the option to download a Word and PDF version instead of just forcing a Word version to download.


You don’t have a photo of you on your GitHub or your resume. Also there is no information about you as a person. What are your hobbies and interests? How old are you? What are your soft skills?

Most of these are good suggestions but I advise against telling how old you are on your portfolio page (or anywhere else). It’s a sure shot to potential ageism if you are over a certain age (45-55 in the broadest sense).


It is inappropriate to put hobbies, interests, or your age on your résumé. People may be able to figure out your age based on your experience, but you don’t need to give it to them overtly.


Okay i see, so this might be a country specific thing because I have never seen one without a birthdate

That may be the case. I’m in the U.S.

Ah yep. That is the case- European countries I know do allow for pictures/portraits and age/birthdates… In the US it’s pretty much standard to not include them because of the noticeable prejudice & discrimination. It’s also why ethnicity and disability aren’t put on resumes or cover letters.
I thought I had read somewhere that many in Europe and elsewhere were moving away from that though… I could be wrong.

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I’m from Germany and on my last applications about 12 years ago photos were common. Some weeks ago a friend told me that this changed partly: it is not necessary to add a photo any longer. But I believe a lot of companies prefere photos and I guess that most applications still have photos.