Looking for a buddy, motivation pal, mentor or friend to help me finally learn

I am a 29 (nearly 30) year old guy who has always wanted to learn to program. I’ve taken a few HTML and Java courses but I have a history of ADHD and Depression and it always gets in the way. I want to try to commit to starting slow at an hour or something per day but I currently have a full-time job that could make that a challenge. I really want to learn and become competent at programming.

I want a job as a software engineer. I love solving problems, I love having those A-ha moments but I’m just not there yet.

I am starting over from basically page one again and would love some guidance


Hi throttle,

I’m 27 and started coding back in Februrary this year. Like you I didn’t have much time to dedicate but getting into the habit of using whatever free time you do have to commit to learning may help you a bunch; this allowed me to get into a mental state of “if I don’t learn something new today, then what was the point?”

Our time is limited and the kids today get a head start by learning basic computer science in schools. But we have the drive, ambition, and life experience to take the reins on our careers.

I’d suggest getting an idea of something you want to create. A website, game, etc. and just getting it out there. Seeing the results of something you’ve created from scratch will give you a vision of how far you’ve come and that’s (for me, at least) very motivating.

Also, fully immerse yourself in this fascinating field. The resources on the internet aren’t lacking when it comes to software/web development and we can use this to our advantage: Podcasts, YouTube, Discord communities etc… Surround yourself with content and people that will help you learn.

You’ve already done some courses so I assume you know the basics, and that already demonstrates you have the passion to finish something you’ve started. You’ll have days where you don’t feel like coding and you’ll have days where you can’t wait to get to a keyboard. But never stop believing that you’re capable of becoming a software engineer.

BTW, I don’t have a job yet. But I’m at the (somewhat irrational) stage now where there’s absolutely no turning back. :grinning_face_with_smiling_eyes:

All the best and good luck in your journey,

hey im in your same boat. i get depression and adhd and when i code it really put me in a happy place. that’s why i want to learn to be a software engineer.

Hi Fredsmith,

I’m glad I’m not the only one who is struggling with these things. I wish that coding put me into that place but I have such a perfectionist and catastrophizing personality that I take every failure as a sign of personal weakness and tend to get really disheartened. I hope that I can, this time, take a more relaxed approach. Do you find you are relaxed by the challenge and issues that come up for do you get anxious and worked up?

Hi Laury,

Thank you so much for your thorough response. It really helps and I see there is so much similarity between where we are coming from. Do you have any recommended podcasts, youtube channels, or discord communities that have helped you?

I think that I sort of still have this super idealized version of a software engineer from when I was a kid/that Hollywood stuff and from experience I know that’s not the case. I know what the work is and I really like it but I have sort of an imposter syndrome I guess. I just feel like it’s a job for “Other people” and that those who can do it are just inherently smarter.

Thank you for your encouragement and I wish you the best on your journey as well!

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I don’t spend much time listening to podcasts, or watching tech-focused youtube anymore. However, in the past I watched computerphile and numberphile, both of which have a range of videos from highly educational, to historic, to just plain funky stuff dealing with computers and numbers. It’s the sort of content that can be entertaining, while still teaching you something. It was the sorta stuff I’d watch during my off time while going to school.

FreeCodeCamp has its own discord community here:

They also have their own self-hosted chat instance here:

I personally listen to music more often than podcasts, so the few I do listen to have nothing to do with programming.

i prob have a mild form of autism but never got diagnosed for . because i enjoy just concentrating on abstract concepts. yes it does trigger me when something doesnt work out . like im missing a logic here and there. but the overall rewards outweigh the negatives. yes i am also a perfectionist and easily get disheartened ( you can ask kevin smith on my previous posts) but it puts me into a happy place when i concentrate harder into what im struggling on and finally figure out a solution to my code. thats the time u need to focus harder the momment u get disheartened.

one other things on those momments u get disheartened. it doesnt hurt to just take a time out and watch some tutorials. i tend to do that, when my mind doesnt feel into it. just dont make your entire learning experieince into tutorials because at the same time its an obligation for all programmers to learn from any resources available but not at the expense of it causing you to build up a dependance to it

Count with me if you need chat with someone about development, creating projects or whatever, I have a long history on depression, in my case I have Bipolar disorder II, is a strange mix between “can’t do anything” and “can do everything at 300% speed”, depending the day or month. But with the time I learned to handle my times and get some benefits by learning or doing.

I have 37 years now, I’m not good talking with people in person but I like to chat A LOT, and love to help people on things that I’ve already know. I do a lot of things on different subjects and I’m always Up to create things like: web designs, apps, vector art, writing sci fi tales, creating music on guitar/bass (just metal sorry), making games or writing ideas about game systems (and play too, rpg and strategy), I create some leather crafting and wire wrapping/weaving products too to pass the time and money. If you want to learn or making something on these subjects I’d probably ccould be a good friend, just message me!

we share the same similiarities . im not a people person. i never do well in parties but im very chatty on discord as long is its in text but will not participate in voice


you say the FCC channel? I should join there

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