I’d like to focus on this mindset.
I’d like to point out that it’s very brave to realize this fault, and bring attention to it. It’s also a sign of high emotional intelligence to acknowledge this. It can be very easy to “continue” the same mindset and not actually admit it openly, let alone to yourself.
Depending on your background and upbringing, the concept of failure could be seen as a dangerous subject. To try and to fail could be seen as the worst of the worst. This is because failure is seen as a statement of yourself, IE “I feel I failed because I’m a failure”. Rather than failure being a a state of mind, IE “I feel I failed to accomplish something”.
The difference can be subtle, but understanding the difference usually is the key to going from tutorial hell to “getting started” and beyond. It’s also the root of many people’s attempts at not starting something.
It’s one thing to find guides, watch videos, follow along and “learn” so you’ll “feel ready”. But the moment you run into trouble, have issues, or just plain “get stuck” you’ll go back to that “I’m already failing, I can’t do this!” mindset.
This is where understanding the difference can kick in and help. The difference is if you currently are stuck, having issues, or having trouble means you see it as an opportunity to learn, rather than a shortcoming you have.
You mention a “kindergartner can do it”, so why try? Except kindergartners are immersed in a world where they are continually learning because not only do they have nothing to lose in regards to being seen “as a failure”, but they also don’t understand the shortcomings they have, nor do they care about “failing” to understand something.
If you ever interacted with a young kid who doesn’t stop asking questions, you’ll might realize they are in that “continual learning” phase, and want to suck up anything, try anything, and will attempt anything regardless of how things turn up. They also don’t care about what other people think about them not knowing something. The concept of failure to them is different than how an adult might see it. That concept of failure is learned.
It’s that concept you’d want to focus on changing. The concept that to try and to fail is a “personal flaw”. Instead you want to think of failure as an opportunity. Yes something not working, or something you aren’t sure about can suck, but it also means you have identified an opportunity to grow, to try, to fall again and get back up and try again.
Web Development is hard. Doing it daily is work. Things are ever changing, things break constantly, things are complicated and confusing. You will fail in some form one way or another. If you’re scared of it you wont start, and won’t grow. It’s that mindset that will hold you back.
But you aren’t hopeless, you actually identified it and pointed it out for the world to see. That’s the hardest part, the next part is to try to accept “failure”. You start to try to seek it because you see it as an opportunity to learn. You open up that blank page and start throwing in code off the top of your head and see it come out wonky or completely explode, you accept it and start debugging. You try and fail, but get back up and keep going, the same way a kindergartner keeps asking “why” to keep learning and absorbing the material.
It’s a vulnerable position to be in, a position where you know you don’t know but ask for help anyways because you need to move on. It’s also the position everyone is in, from the amateur just starting out to the decades old professional. No one knows everything, but you want to be in a place to learn anything, as that’s how you get started, and also how you continue. Its a process, a mindset and a journey. Hopefully one that you can find enjoyment of over time.
Good luck, keep learning keep building, keep asking!