So, my imposter syndrome just became real, I’m not performing well, I’m gonna try and see if I can get moved into another project instead of just hitting the rut, this, really does sucks, it actually hits you in the ego, I did learned plenty, I mean, in the professional environment I just wish this whole process of getting called out and tough it out could just get skipped and on with the next.
You’re not performing well…by your own standard, or by a peer review? We aren’t made knowing this stuff, and folks will be quick to point out shortcomings. But part of being a junior dev is developing a “thick skin.” There is a lot you may not know, you’re still learning and asking questions. This is not a failure.
My advice? I might hold off on switching teams. Instead, ask your team or mentor where you should focus right where you are to grow.
If you aren’t struggling, you aren’t learning and progressing. Just my 0.02
When I saw my coworkers code on what should’ve been my work, I literally crumbled into an anxiety explosion, seeing where the bar is against the task ,it freaked me out, I was nowhere near what it was asked for, I felt tons of embarrassment seeing how unprepared I am for the job, it’s a freaking nightmare, I felt helpless and overwhelmed and alot of random negative thoughts just came up, now I’m not fired…yet, but they do expect me to learn fast, well, I guess I need to learn how to learn fast, I don’t know how far am I going to get here, but being called out does feels like crap.
First you need to release all of this unjustified guilt. You didn’t do anything wrong. You are only being made to feel that way because of capitalism. Start with youtube, stackoverflow, and just keep practicing. Being in a state of paralysis is not going to help you. Find a leisurely activity that will help you relieve stress separate from programming
You are not your co-workers, you are not walking their path. Comparison with others is subjective, but comparison with yourself is powerful. Look at and learn from your co-workers code, ask why they did a certain thing in a certain place if you don’t understand.
I would bet that your co-workers have been where you are. And yes, having your code critiqued is a very common part of the process.
But you are not your code! A critique of your code says nothing negative about you. In fact, it might be a positive. Can you take those comments about your code and see how it might improve by applying those changes?
Reading your last post, the language tells me I’m wrong, at least in part. Sounds like the code critique we more you judging your own code, and feeling embarrassed and hurt that you aren’t at their level.
Do they expect you to learn all this fast? They would like you to, sure. It takes as long as it takes, and I’d bet they get it. I think the expectation might be partly theirs and partly yours.
Learn all you can, always. Take the embarrassment you feel, and use that to keep you motivated. Ask for guidance. Ask your team lead or mentor for suggested reading. Let them see your intent to step up, rather than step out.