Okay, this one is a little painful to write. But it’s more for me than anyone else.
One voice in my head is telling me, it’s okay because the questions were advanced for you anyway and this won’t be the only interview you’ll ever get. The other says, I had my chance at a better life and just blew it. I know this is just a setback. Usually i’d go down a downward spiral of depression and won’t touch a computer for weeks. But I can’t lose anymore time. So i’m doing my best to brush it off and move on. It’s unlikely i’ll hear back from the company so i need to keep on going.
But it is hard. When i set out to do this, i was just in awe of what it meant to be a developer. But each day it’s getting harder. I used to think just HTML,CSS & JS was what i needed to a front-end developer. Now there are like 15 technologies you must know if you want to make it. Every time i find out about a new one i have to learn, a little bit of my enthusiasm dies.
But like i said, i can’t give up. Because despite it all, i cannot imagine a future where i’m doing anything besides this. I’d be miserable. I already made a goal to be job ready by the end of the year. This is just a small hurdle. At the end of the year, i’m going to come back to this post and see how much i really have changed. Like i said, this is more of a personal motivation, but if it helps you too, i’m glad. So DON’T GIVE UP. It sucks when you can’t see the future as clearly as you see the past, but i believe it’ll get better. It has to.
On that note, i’m going to go cry a little, then get back to work. We’ve got a long way to go.