Hello there.
Do you mind answering some of the questions from here:
Most of all, what do you dream for the future?
Our motivations come from our desires, which comes from our vision of the future. I feel a lot of disappointment from you, but more discouragement, which can be cured.
Your portfolio looks very good. It is unfortunate you chose React rather than Vue ( 
) but otherwise, you seem to be doing very well for your first year. Please feel free to talk more about yourself and your dreams, then you will see something arise to fit your needs. Taking responsibility is the fastest and only path to freedom. So what do you take responsibility for? What is your volunteering experience in Open Source? Why did you become a programmer to begin with? I doubt it is just about a pay check.
Most people need a team, not just a community. What teams are you part of outside programming? Are you alone? Do you work well with others? As you get to know your self, you will find people like your self, and together you can all overcome any limitation. And if you really must work alone, you are never really alone if you have a real dream.