Hello Everyone!
I usually just like to lurk here sometimes and see what other people are saying. I see that a lot of people here are very encouraging and I need some of that right now.
I am gonna start with a little background story…
I always liked computers. I remember my mom bought me a windows 95 computer in Peru, and I would play a lot of StarCraft, and Warcraft 3. I would play it for hours on end. I would love it at every time, but then one day I guess my computer did an oppsie and it a command prompt popped up and then left rather quickly. I was suprised to say the least. Fast forward to 2012. I migrated from Peru to the US for a better life. I would play a lot of Yu-Gi-Oh! at college with some friends, I would skip classes and I was psychology major. I didn’t really resonate with any of the degrees there, and one day I learned about codeacademy.
I used codeacademy for a bit and I went through the HTML/CSS portion. I was like “This is pretty easy.” and I finished the portion. When JavaScript was introduced to me I was blown away from it. I thought it was easy until I got stuck at the If-Else statements. I was like “This is too hard for me lol.” But I decided to change my major to Computer Science, since I feel like this is the only path for me to take because i needed guidance. I took some classes but the teacher was mean. I felt like he wanted to weed out anyone who was weak. He wasn’t welcoming to beginners, just a bad experience all together.
In 2015 I dropped out of school for a bit. Got into a toxic relationship and worked a terrible job. I eventually went back to school, broke up with my ex at the time and found a small associates degree program at another community college that taught web development.
In 2017 my grandfather got diagnosed with terminal cancer and while i was going to school, it was tough to balance things out in my life and school. I eventually dropped out again to help my mom and my grandmother take to radiation and chemotherapy.
In 2018 my grandfather sadly passed away. I was devastated, it really hit since he was the only father figure in my life. I was planning to go back to school, but the owners of the house that we were renting wanted the house back. We were paying 1500 dollars a month, and we could have sustained that, but because the owners wanted the house back.
My mom needed help with the bills so I couldn’t go back to school, but I discovered this youtuber named Dylan Israel and his story of being a self taught web developer, and how he got a job in the field. I didn’t want to just work and do nothing so I decided to be a self taught developer, and It was a tough road ever since.
In 2019 my motivation was up and down. I was lost. I took on a project that required react and i barely knew JavaScript at the time. I dropped out of the project and it would be a lot of trial and error of the learning and in 2020 the pandemic hit. I was still at it learning at my pace, but my family would be inpatient with me. I would try my best, but the balancing with my home life and efforts trying to get in this field was daunting.
My family was letting me know that I have other qualities and that I should explore them, but I didn’t listen because I knew that coding for me was it for me. I didn’t see doing anything else.
Fast forward to yesterday and my mom told me again that I should just focus on other things and come back to coding when I have my life together. Honestly this time she made me really think. I feel like i got committed to this field, and I am not seeing any progress. I know HTML, CSS, JavaScript and React. I know GIT as well. I have a portfolio and my resume.
I started to apply in June and honestly I barely get any interviews and I barely pass the first round. I am exhausted. I told myself i’m gonna give myself one more year and if nothing happens i’ll move on and try something else, but I don’t want to give up. I know that I can do it. Sometimes i’m not motivated, but I always get back up and do my best.
But I’m broke all the time, I can barely afford things. I want to buy a condo for myself and a dog and work from home and relax that’s the life I want. I also want to provide for my mom and my brothers as well. I want to show them that with dedication you can do anything you set your mind to. But when your own family discourages you, it’s disheartening. It sucks. It makes me feel sad.
Honestly I don’t know what to do anymore. I was hoping for some guidance from you guys, maybe something similar has happened to you?
To the people who read everything: Thank you for reading, I will buy you a shot if we ever at a bar (If you drink of course ahahaha)
TLDR:
My family is discouraging me from coding because I haven’t done any progress. I still feel like I got what it takes but the words from my family makes me wanna give up. I do it for them as well so for them to tell me to stop and focus on something else makes me feel really sad and disappointing in myself for not doing it sooner.
Mods:
If this type of post isn’t allowed. Please delete. I am not too familiar with the rules of this forum and I will read the rules for another post next time.
Thank you all!
Claudio Bardales