You want to build things. Learning to code for the sake of coding is fine if you you want a hobby. It’s fun and there’s nothing wrong with it
If your goals is to be professional developer, you need to build things. Don’t worry about memorizing, that will come with time and experience. I have been developing for 13+ years now. A couple weeks ago I could not get the syntax right for a for loop in a language I hadn’t used recently. Guess what? Google. On to the next problem.
Here’s my favorite analogy for this:
You are hiring someone to make a custom chair for you. You look at chair-maker resumes and decide to interview two people.
The first candidate arrives and tells you they’ve spent the last 30 years learning how to use all available hammers, saws, drills, and can even tell you the chemical make up of most modern nails and screws. They have certificates from all the best schools and a degree in Wood Science. Wow. Very cool. Very smart.
The second comes in and shows you pictures of the 10 latest chairs they designed and built for other customers.
Who do you hire?
The point, of course, is that many new coders and developers focus too much time (in my opinion) on learning the latest new tool or language. I’ve heard “Which language should I learn next?” far too many times. If you’re doing it for fun, go for it! I’ve spent many hours learning languages and tools that had a low “return” on my professional career so far. Just be clear on where you’re spending your time!