I just saw this and I am sorry to hear that. I can’t imagine how hard it is on you but I have mad respect for your perseverance to have done CSS! I’ve registered since 2018 and only recently reached CSS curriculum.
But I think I can relate where you are faced with an empty page wonder how on earth do you even start! Holy lord…it always happens to me in addition to my chronic impostor syndrome. I am not sure if this will help but, I’ve done a few things that helped me practice some HTML and CSS even without developing websites from scratch; now that’s hard and I am still a noob.
Do you have a Google Account?
If you do, then you’re gonna like this; I hope . You can try and have a go at Google Site or Blogger for HTML and CSS by creating a new blog or site. Blogger’s blog site have the ‘Layout’ function and under there, you can create an ‘Embed HTML’ widget where you can created a layout by using HTML and CSS. I’ve tried it and was hooked at testing different HTML functionalities there. The change isn’t permanent though because it is a widget and the customization is governed by the bigger HTML template which you can start testing when you feel more confident. Google Site works the same with the HTML embeds. If you’re feeling more adventurous, try checking out the whole website to get ‘reality checks’ on the code that makes up the page by right-clicking and select ‘Inspect’; I assume you are using Chrome Browser. If you relate to some of the codes there, you’re one step closer to frontend dev!
Another place to start testing your HTML in Blogger is by posting something on the blog. In Blogger, the posts have the feature to change the mode of input from Rich Text to HTML. Since I started to seriously study HTML, I’ve taken every opportunity to use that function whether to make tables in that post, create links, lists, credits or footers and such. It’s a more fun way to do it without thinking about the stress of developing something from the ground up when you have other things to do; work or study.
It can be frustrating and at times, feel so pointless, cause after all the exercises here at freeCodeCamp, I can’t actually make anything just yet. But I think I learned something else; the ease of research. I found that not every developers knows the code of something right off the bat and they too have to Google to find some functionalities. Other than that, I’ve managed to take it easy on the internal self-effacing.
You’re amazing to have identified that you do not have the grasp of CSS and goes back there to understand what it is and take notes; for real…some people don’t for a long long time. I hope the little exercises I’ve shared above can help alleviate some of the frustration you feel – it’s usually because you don’t have something concrete developed by your own hands yet. I am positive you’re gonna break that painful wall of a learning curve and come out victorious.
You can do this! Like @Eldorado82 David said, you are not compelled by anyone to learn this but you initiated this by your own sheer will. When you start feeling like punching your monitor or just eat your keyboard, walk away. Watch an episode on Netflix or two, running or cooking – any soothing repetitive tasks can help calm down the nerves. Or sleep on it. It’s totally ok. It really is.
I look forward to see what you’re up to . Feel free to share it here too when you’re ready
Go get 'em tiger!